It is 2:30 am, you have hugged your best girlfriend goodbye as she got into a cab to go home after a wonderfully fabulous night of clubbing. You walk down the street, only a couple of hundred feet to the parking lot where you left your car. As you fumble in your purse for your keys, a young adult steps out of the shadows. He looks like a yard ape."Well, look what we got here; a ** fag."
Three more of his friends now join him. It is one against four, you are in a short skirt, four inch heels and all you have is your purse and maybe some pepper spray; that is if you can find it under your makeup in the bag.
When you wake up in the hospital you dont remember anything from the time you saw your friend get into the cab. The doctors tell you that you have a skull fracture, severe concussion, three broken ribs, a fractured arm and pelvis. You dont know if you will keep the sight in your eye because the bandages are still on it.
The cops could care less. Fill out a report and maybe they will get to it someday.
Now your wife comes in and while she is concerned, she is mad as hell because she didn't know anything about your little secret life until they called her from the hospital then handed her your clothes in a bag.
Never happen to you? Think again. It did happen and she did lose her eyesight.
No genetic girl would ever walk the streets alone at night for any reason and into a secluded parking lot? Not a chance in hell. But you aren't a genetic girl and can hold your own right? Yeah right.
Safety extends beyond this type of scenario though.
Consider the t-girl who has found someone she really likes and he knows she is in the process of transitioning but that is okay with him. They engage in sex but she doesn't know he is HIV positive.
How about the CD or t-girl coming out of the mall at closing and is swarmed by a group of teenage girls who have been watching her?
Okay you are careful, none of that could happen to you. So how about you get pulled over by the local constabulary, and the cop doesn't like you so he arrests you just because he can, and you end up in a cell with Bubba. Think it cant happen? Maybe it is with the hookers they rousted that night and you know they don't like you.
So those are extremes right?
Maybe you are sitting in an outdoor cafe with your wife and some yokel on the street feels duty bound to yell at you because you are an affront to his sensibilities.
You are standing in line at the bank and the guy behind you got a glimpse of your stockings and he wants to see more, or rather he wants everyone to see the freak.
You are sitting in Mickey D's watching your kids play in the ball crawl, just sipping at your coffee when a little boy comes up and asks you in a loud voice if you are a boy or a girl.
How about you meet your boss on the street and s/he is totally shocked. Next week you are laid off due to a shortage of work.
All of the above stories are true and there are thousands more, some of them I could relate are quite graphic but would only serve as shock value. The point being made here is that you cant always predict your personal safety and you could be in danger in some of the most unlikely of places. There is safety in numbers for sure but of course that isn't always possible. If you sense danger at any point for any reason, take steps to avoid it. Your safety and maybe even your life are worth a lot more than "stepping out" just because you can pass some of the time.
The following tips for CD's and women in general have been compiled by the Vancouver BC Police Department.
Bring a cell phone along if you have one. This way you can always call for help without having to look for a phone.
Stay alert, stand tall and be confident. Attackers are more likely to molest a person who appears uncertain or afraid.
Carry cash and valuables in a front or inside pocket to reduce the attraction for muggers. If you do need to carry a purse or bag of some sort, consider using a fanny pack.
Avoid carrying large sums of cash, but if you have to, be discreet about it.
If you wish to give someone spare change, never pull out your wallet or open your purse, take change out of your pocket instead.
Use well-lit streets, stay to the middle of the sidewalk and avoid alleyways.
Approach shadowy doorways, shrubbery, or anything that someone could hide behind with extra caution.
If you feel uneasy walking alone, find someone you know who will go out with you, or plan your route along busy streets so that there are always people around you.
If you think someone is following you, cross the street and turn to walk in the opposite direction to get a good look at them and then go find the nearest place to alert the authorities.
If you think a car is following you, immediately do a U turn, take note of the driver and license plate number, continue to walk in the opposite direction and call the authorities from the nearest possible location.
Carry a whistle or personal safety alarm so you can alert others if you are attacked.
Do not carry a weapon, even for self-defense. Most policemen killed in the line of duty are done so with their own weapon, even though they are trained in their use. If you are assaulted, introducing a weapon will only increase the severity of the attack, and increase the chance of severe injury to yourself. Carrying a weapon also creates the chance of you or someone else being accidentally hurt, for which you would be held responsible.
If you are verbally harassed do not respond keep walking and notify the nearest authority.
Using a Vehicle
Keep all the doors locked even when you are inside the car.
Park in well lit areas.
Visually inspect the interior of the vehicle before you get in.
Have your keys ready before you get to the door, holding them between your thumb and forefinger in a ready position because:
Fumbling for your keys at your car makes you more vulnerable for an attack.
If you are attacked they can be used as a defensive tool.
Never hold your keys interlaced between your fingers, because keys are very brittle and will break if you hit someone while holding them in this manner.
If someone tries to get in your car while you’re driving, simply drive off. If you’re unable to do this, hold down on your horn to alert other people to your situation.
Using Transit
Plan your route beforehand, and know the transit schedule.
Choose busy and visible stops.
At night, use well-lit stops and sit near the driver.
If the bus doesn't come and you are in a hurry, do not hitchhike – it is dangerous and in some cases illegal.
Running, Jogging or Rollerblading
Make sure you know your route.
Avoid wooded areas at night, and stay to well lit areas.
Try to run facing oncoming traffic and wear reflective clothing.
Personal stereos make it hard to be fully aware of your surroundings so try not to use them, especially at night.
When cycling or rollerblading, wear a helmet and reflective clothing, especially when you use the roadways
Using an ATM Machine
If anything strikes you as suspicious use a different machine, trust your gut instinct.
After dark make sure to look for well lit machines .
Do not use a machine if there is someone hanging around.
Cover the keypad with one hand while typing in your code with the other, even by yourself. You may feel silly doing it but it is a good habit to start and there have been cases of people using binoculars or video cameras to capture pin numbers.
If no money comes out make sure to check the money slot for blockages, and notify the bank immediately. A popular scam recently has been for people to block the money slot with a piece of plastic and then return to collect the money after the customer leaves.
If using a drive-through bank machine make sure all of the car doors are locked.
At a club or at a party
Never let your drink out of your sight. If your drink does leave your sight get a new one.
Don't sample drinks from people, even friends or acquaintances.
Most victims of sexual assault know their attacker.
While "date rape" drugs have been gaining in popularity, alcohol still accounts for the majority of sexual assaults where the victim is unconscious during the attack. So if you are going to drink, do so responsibly, or have friends you trust there to watch over you
If you are stalked or attacked
The most important thing is to tell the police, they are the best resource for stopping this problem, and the earlier you contact them the earlier they can help.
Keep a written record of everything. Tell friends, relatives, employers, co-workers or anyone else who witnesses an incident of your problem, so that they can keep a record as well.
Most importantly remember that it is not your fault, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You will need help and emotional support in this difficult time, whether it comes from friends, relatives, religion or support groups.
If you are attacked, try to comply with the attacker’s wishes, if they want you to turn over cash and valuables, these can be replaced, credit cards can be cancelled and pin numbers can be changed.
Try to remain calm throughout the situation, becoming hysterical will only make the situation worse and put the attacker more on edge.
If you are being physically, or sexually assaulted, try to get attention. This is where a whistle or personal alarm comes in handy. If you have to scream for help, try yelling "fire" to get people’s attention as opposed to yelling "help".
Try to remember details about the person’s appearance: height, age, facial hair, eye colour, tattoos etc.
Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc). DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed.
Courtesy: Shelly Preston
